Good Relationships are Intentional

We refer to bad things that happen to us as accidents, therefore it is unwise to suggest that a good relationship happens by accident but rather to understand that good relationships happen on purpose and are intentional. That is not to say that we don’t meet people with whom we easily connect. And no matter how hard we try even the best relationships will have struggles. However, if we are going to have the best relationships possible we must be intentional in making them the best they can possibly be.

God was intentional in creating the world, He was also intentional when He created man and He is intentional in His relationship with us. We see this truth very clearly in the following passage, “(26) And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. (27) So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. (28) And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. (29) And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.” Genesis 1:26-29

Here are some thoughts on how we can make our relationships intentionally good and if they are already good, then we can make them intentionally better.

What is the purpose of the relationship?

We don’t consciously think about this but every relationship has a purpose and not all relationships have the same purpose. The relationship I have with my wife is different than the relationship I have with any other human being. Debbie is my life partner, we share everything. Marriage is the only relationship God instituted where two people become one. The primary purpose of the marriage relationship is for companionship, God said “it is not good for the man to be alone”, and then he created the woman.

The purpose of friendship is also for companionship. We have business relationships that serve their own purpose. The relationships we form with like-minded fellow believers in Jesus Christ are special for unique reasons, we have a common bond in Christ, we have a family-like connection as children of God and we have a common purpose in our worship and propagation of the Gospel message. God gives us other purposes for our relationships which we will only list here and exhort another time. Scripture tells us we are to love, prefer, receive, admonish, serve, be burden bearers, forbear, exhort, edify and forgive one another. This is only a portion of “one another’s” given in Scripture, but each one holds a relationship purpose. Consider your closet relationships, what is their purpose?

Intentional relationships have a common bond

Scripture tells us “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2nd Corinthians 6:14)

The common bond of a relationship can sometimes be a challenge for young people and for adults as well, for example, anger, bitterness, rebellion, the perspective of being victimized and other negative emotions can be common bonds in a relationship. Negative feeds upon negative and positive upon positive in a relationship. Recall that the fruit tree yields fruit after his kind, whose seed is in its self!

The common bond of our closest relationships should first be Jesus Christ, followed by serving God, serving others and edifying one another.

Intentional relationships recognize differences

Our relationships are different with different people and no two people are the same. I have a dear friend named Joe, he and I have been friends for over forty years. Joe has his own unique personality and we have more than one common bond, Joe is perhaps one of the closest friends I have ever had. I also have a friend named Tom. He and I have been friends for forty years also. Joe and Tom have different personalities and interests and to a point, our common bonds are a little different. The point is God made us different, we should recognize the differences and enjoy people for who they are and for the connection we have to them.

Intentional relationships strengthen intentionally

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend”. (Provers 27:17) When any relationship has the intentional purpose of strengthening the other that relationship will be productive for all parties. When a marriage is intentionally strong and thriving the children are going to thrive. When people and leadership of a church or organization are intentionally strong the people and the community will thrive. When the leadership and workers of a business are intentional with their relationship with each other, everyone will benefit.

If you truly want to improve your relationships, no matter who the relationship is with, be assured it will not happen by accident, it will require an earnest effort on your part, and when both parties or all parties involved want to make improvements and are willing to be intentional, great things can happen! So make something good happen on purpose!!!